A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.

Q: What do you give 900-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!

A bloke goes to a zoo, when he gets there it's just one cage and bucket loads of land. in the cage was a dog telling you now it was shit-zoo.

When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.